Photo by Max Muselmann on Unsplash
I’ve been working with a client over the past few months. She is neurodiverse and has never felt that the existing diagnostic labels spoke to her. Together, we’ve been exploring what her unique relationship with the world looks like, with all its subtleties and sensitivities. Our focus has been on finding ways for her to express her authentic self in a form that truly suits her.
Much of what she describes is not my own experience of the world, yet that doesn’t prevent me from seeking alongside her. My role is to mirror back the aspects of herself she may be blind to, or has trouble accepting.
Ours has been a shared journey. I’ve punctuated her path with small rest halts—pauses for awareness that spark new perspectives. Some suggestions resonate deeply; others fall by the wayside. It’s a true exploration. Over these months, she has covered significant ground, and our sessions have naturally spaced out as life unfolds.
Yesterday was a longer rest halt. We caught up on all the recent changes, thoughts, and shifts in her life.
It struck me that many people are actively seeking diagnoses for ADHD, autism, or hypersensitivity, and that’s absolutely fine. But I also see individuals who are clearly neurodiverse yet feel bothered by labels because they don’t quite fit. That’s also fine. Whatever you find helpful is what we are seeking.
I’ve personally struggled with labels. I was diagnosed as gifted (which felt only partially satisfactory), misdiagnosed with several things, and while ‘AuDHD’ is a useful bucket for me, it still doesn’t capture everything.
My view is that these labels often look at the same core experience but through different prisms. Depending on your angle, you’ll find descriptions that best fit your way of being, relate to your personal experience, and overlap with other categories.
Yesterday, the simple appellation “neurodiverse” seemed rather fitting. It’s broad enough to encompass all flavours of neurodivergence, essentially meaning ‘not neurotypical’. Far from being a statement of ‘us versus them’, it came to signify this: my experience of the world is different from that of the majority, and also different from the clinical labels created to define me.
In a world that finds comfort in neat, tidy boxes, we also have the opportunity to create meanings and experiences that feel right for us. Ultimately, this is about our daily reality and our unique way of seeing the world.
Our difficulties in existing within systems not designed for us shouldn’t deter us from finding our authentic selves. I have no illusions about how challenging this is, and I don’t believe the world is ready to fully accommodate neurodiversity any time soon. However, what I do see is this: when clients connect with their authentic selves, their entire experience of the world begins to change. A transformation occurs in their daily life; they gradually shift their activities and connections towards experiences that are more aligned with who they truly are.
There is no silver bullet. But in time, discovering your unique neurodiverse flavour can bring a profound inner alignment and peace with who you are. The question, perhaps, isn’t whether you get diagnosed or not. It’s whether you know who your authentic self is, and can begin to create a life that aligns with that unique being.
If this exploration resonates with you, and you’re seeking a supportive space to understand your own unique way of being, I invite you to reach out. Let’s connect and discuss how we might work together on your journey.
I offer a confidential, exploratory conversation for those curious about working with a therapist who approaches neurodiversity with nuance. Please feel welcome to get in touch via my website.
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